On tiki bars

The Weekly Wrap Up (2/26/21)

Each week, I’m going to be sharing some things I’ve learned from stuff I’ve read. Topics may range from philosophy to sports and anywhere in between.

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Tiki bars are bars that have all three of the following:

1. Tropical-themed ambiance

2. Sweet, tropical-themed drinks

3. No specificity whatsoever in the tropical environment they’re trying to emulate

You see, the third point is the one that gets me riled up about tiki bars. Not in the “I’m offended” kind of way, but more in the “These bars could be so much better with just a tiny bit of effort” kind of way.

The thing is, tiki bars are basically the bar-equivalent of an Asian restaurant in the Central Valley that serves pad thai, sushi, and orange chicken, amongst 40 other menu items, including french fries.

There’s just no direction at all with what these tiki bars are going for. Is this tiki bar a tropical paradise in the Philippines? The ube-themed drink would suggest so. Oh, but the bar also has a Jamaican scorpion bowl which puts you on the other side of the world from the Philippines.

And don’t get me started on the over-the-top vagueness and generalities of the tropical decor.

Now, you might think, “AJ, so what if the theme of the tiki bar isn’t specific to a country? Why does it matter?”

It matters because the lack of cultural specificity results in the vast majority of tiki bars not serving food. And I can’t say I blame them for not serving food. You see, it’s impossible to make decent food at a bar if you’ve spread yourself thematically thin across multiple continents, which is very likely why tiki bars avoid serving food altogether.

And this is a damn shame because there are so many countries with tropical environments that would have extremely delicious bar food. A Puerto Rican-themed tiki bar would be able to serve fried plantains and fried fish on skewers. A Filipino-themed tiki bar would be able to serve Lechon bites along with sisig fried rice. And don’t get me started on Hawaiian food.

But since you asked, here’s a simple food menu of my Hawaiian-themed tiki bar:

1. Spam-Musubi

2. Chicken Katsu Sandwich Bites

3. BBQ Short Ribs

4. Macaroni Salad

Boom. That’s a delicious, savory menu that would be the perfect thing to go with whatever sweet, alcoholic cocktail you’ve just imbibed.

So, why the hell am I talking about tiki bars?

I think that a lot of ethnic restaurants short-change themselves by not pushing higher-margin products on their customers, like alcoholic drinks. You’ve got these Vietnamese immigrants making $1 for every delicious $4 banh mi they make by hand while the Irish pub down the street pockets $5 for every $6 pint of Guinness they pour into a glass.

I’m not sure exactly why so many Asian restaurants don’t seem to emphasize drinks too much on their menus.

Maybe it’s because drinking isn’t that big of a part of Asian culture, relative to others?

Or, maybe it’s because of the allergic reactions to alcohol that many Asians experience?

Speculation aside, it doesn’t really matter because money talks, and in the restaurant industry, the easiest way to make money is to sell alcoholic drinks. And I really think that more Asian restaurants should be doing that.

So where do they start?

I think it starts with tiki bars. There’s a tremendous opportunity there for a culturally specific, tiki bar to serve delicious islander food, along with the sweet, refreshing cocktails that current tiki bars have done so well.

Whether it’s a Guamanian-themed Tiki bar or a Filipino-themed Tiki bar, I’m all for it. And if you wanna keep the useless little, toothpick umbrellas in the cocktails, that’s fine. Just make sure you’ve also got some delicious islander food to go along with it.

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If you liked what you read, feel free to share the post with your friends.