On my favorite pit stops
The Weekly Wrap Up (4/23/21)
I’ve always found it difficult to enjoy road-trips, particularly when the stench of cow-poop slowly seeps into the car in the middle of that 6-hour drive from SF to LA.
The journey can really suck sometimes, even aside from the cow-poop. Think of the gas station bathrooms with the sticky door handles, the random Chinese sushi restaurant across from said gas station, or all of those State of Jefferson signs that randomly dot parts of rural California.
All that being said, there are occasional oases of Goodness that will pop up on some of these long California road trips. I’m not just talking about the traditionally wonderful pit stops like the In-N-Outs and Chik-Fil-As. I’m talking about those non-corporate, family-run gems that cause you to pull over in some non-descript little town while your passengers check to see if the town even has a Wikipedia page.
Anyways, here are my quickfire thoughts on some of the pitstops that I love and even one that I love to hate.
Primm
Driving to Vegas from LA is a bit of a snoozefest. Sleepy LA suburbs slowly give way to small Central Valley towns and eventually, vast desert. Then, in the middle of all this desolation, you see neon signs and a clump of buildings. At last, Las Vegas!
That’s exactly what Primm wants you to think. Situated right on top of the California-Nevada border and 30 minutes away from Las Vegas, Primm prides itself on having 3 casinos on the Nevada side of the town while also allowing people to buy Lotto tickets on the California side of the town.
Primm also happens to be the definitive best pit stop for these two use-cases:
If you’re shaking so much from excitement about being able to gamble on the Nevada side of the border, you may be physically unable to drive the remaining 30 minutes to Las Vegas. Primm’s casinos allow you to get your fix in before continuing on your journey.
It’s Sunday and you’re on your way back to LA after losing way too much money playing the Fast-and-Furious-17 themed slot machine next to the kiddie ball pit at the Circus-Circus. Primm is your last chance to make it all back!
Harris Ranch
I was skeptical when I saw the raw hunks of filet mignon being sold at the gas station checkout counter next to the Kit-Kats. On the one hand, I was confused. But on the other hand, it kinda felt like a statement: our meats and barbecue are so good that we don’t care about the optics of selling our raw meat next to some candy bars.
The second hand’s reasoning won out, so I went over to the barbecue counter at the gas station and ordered brisket and tri-tip, along with some cornbread and beans. It was honestly better than any casual barbecue spot I’ve been to in the Bay. While everything was delicious, the brisket was the highlight, given its melt-in-your-mouth fatty richness.
In addition to selling barbecue and raw meats at its gas station, the Harris Ranch compound also features a hotel with a pool, a sit-down restaurant, a big gift shop, and a candy stand. Also, if you come at the right time, you might even see dozens of pounds of brisket being cooked at the smoker out in front of the gas station.
Any gas station off a highway in the Philippines
In the event of a zombie apocalypse, you probably already have a good idea of where you’d wanna be. Costco is probably your number one choice. Walmart would be a close second while other smaller retailers like Target or Whole Foods would follow.
A choice that you haven’t at all considered — but really should have— is any gas station along a highway in the Philippines.
Here in the States, gas stations along the highway are very much pit stops. Our gas stations exist merely to provide fuel to get you from point A to B.
But in the Philippines, it’s different. These gas stations along the highway are almost like destinations in and of themselves.
In the photo below, you’ll see a sign displaying the 9 restaurants and the Nike Factory Store that are located in the Caltex gas station compound. And yes, that is an entrance to a zoo next to the sign.
On long road trips with family, these gas stations could serve as a 2-hour diversion. An hour to eat, 30 minutes to shop, 30 minutes to walk around the zoo. There’s a lot to do. Like I said, perfect for a zombie apocalypse.
Placerville
Placerville is a rare, government-sanctioned example of the journey getting in the way of the destination.
Imagine this. You’re coasting down the I-50 back to SF on a Sunday afternoon following a nice weekend of hiking and lake activities at Lake Tahoe. And then, inexplicably, Google Maps tells you that there’s a 20-minute delay.
Newbies to the Tahoe <> SF round-trip will shrug their shoulders and think that some accident is causing the delay.
But wizened old veterans of the 4-hour commute will know the true cause of the delay: Placerville.
Here are two photos that irrefutably incriminate Placerville of their sins.
Yes, that’s right. Placerville is a town that features not one, but THREE (!!!) stoplights that are in the middle of this otherwise lovely freeway.
Almost as if to emphasize how important these stoplights are to the Placerville economy, the city officials placed a welcome sign next to the first set of stoplights. And it really is fitting. If you look at Google Maps, all of Placerville downtown revolves around the highway that it holds hostage with its three stoplights. Surely, a substantial portion of the Placerville economy relies on travelers stopping by for lunch or a quick snack.
And part of me almost does respect the hustle. I’m sure that there have been many suggestions to scrap these stoplights altogether, but I’m sure that there are even more Placerville politicians and residents keen on stonewalling those suggestions. After all, these people need to eat and have families to support. I get it.
But to me, that breaks an unspoken rule about pitstops. You become a great pitstop by using some sort of diversion to lure people away from the highway. Pitstops with awesome diversions (e.g. great burritos) will thrive and become destinations on their own.
Placerville, however, prospers from coercion, which is something I just can’t get behind, especially once you do the math.
There are 20 million people who visit Lake Tahoe every year, and if you assume that 25% of them have to cut through Placerville1, you get 5 million people getting a 20-minute delay each year. For those math wizards, that’s 1 billion minutes being wasted each year on those Placerville stoplights. For context, that translates to 1902 years or 23.78 human lives assuming an 80-year lifespan.
You can argue that every year, Placerville is responsible for wasted time, equivalent to that of nearly 24 human lives.
Probably not to your surprise, I’ve never stopped at Placerville on any of my trips to and from Tahoe.
A very reasonable assumption, given that there are only two freeways into Lake Tahoe, coming in from the California side.
Disappointed by the lack of Bravoland in this review, the greatest pitstop on the 5!